Job Postings

Producer: 

Leaps Tall Buildings In A Single Bound.

Is More Powerful Than A Locomotive.

Is Faster Than A Speeding Bullet.

Walks On Water.

Gives Policy To God.

Playwright: 

Leaps Short Buildings With A Running Start.

Is Almost As Powerful As A Switch Engine.

Is Faster Than A Speeding Squirt Gun.

Swims Well.

Is Occasionally Addressed By God.

Techie: 

Runs Into Buildings.

Recognizes Locomotives Two Out Of Three Times.

Is Not Issued Ammunition.

Can Stay Afloat With A Life Preserver.

Talks To Walls.

Director: 

Leaps Short Buildings In A Single Bound.

Is More Powerful Than A Switch Engine.

Is Just As Fast As A Speeding Bullet.

Walks On Water If The Sea Is Calm.

Talks With God.

Actor: 

Makes High Marks On The Wall.

When Trying To Leap Buildings Is Run Over By Locomotives.

Can Sometimes Handle A Gun Without Inflicting Self-Injury.

Dog Paddles.

Talks To Animals.

Chorus: 

Falls Over Doorsteps When Trying To Enter Buildings.

Says, "Look At The Choo-Choo!"

Wets Self With A Water Gun.

Plays In Mud Puddles Mumbles To Self.

Stage Manager: 

Lifts Buildings And Walks Under Them.

Kicks Locomotives Off The Track.

Catches Speeding Bullets In Teeth And Eats Them.

Freezes Water With A Single Glance.

Is God.